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intreeging a gentleman with money, but she ought to be full of
ideas on how to get rid of one.
So at first Dorothy said, Why didn t I take a chance and
marry Henry because she had an idea that if Henry married
me he would commit suicide about two weeks later. But I told
her about my plan to do quite a lot of shopping, and I told her
that I would send for Henry and I would manage it so that I
would not be in the apartment when he came, but she could be
there and start a conversation with him and she could tell him
about all of my shopping and how extravagant I seemed to be
and he would be in the poor house in less than a year if he
married me.
So Dorothy said for me to take one farewell look at Henry
and leave him to her, because the next time I saw him would be
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes 94
in the witness box and I might not even recognize him because
she would throw a scare into him that might change his whole
physical appearance. So I decided to leave him in the hands of
Dorothy and hope for the best.
July 10th:
Well, last month was really almost a diary in itself, and I
have to begin to realize that I am one of the kind of girls that
things happen to. And I have to admit, after all, that life is
really wonderful. Because so much has happened in the last
few weeks that it almost makes a girl s brains whirl.
I mean in the first place I went shopping at Cartiers and
bought quite a delightful square cut emerald and quite a long
rope of pearls on Henry s credit. So then I called up Henry on
the long distants telephone and told him that I wanted to see
him quite a lot, so he was very very pleased and he said that he
would come right up to New York.
So then I told Dorothy to come to the apartment and be there
when Henry came, and to show Henry what I bought on his
credit, and to tell him how extravagant I seem to be, and how I
seem to keep on getting worse. So I told Dorothy to go as far as
she liked, so long as she did not insinuate anything against my
character, because the more spotless my character seems to be,
the better things might turn out later. So Henry was due at the
apartment about 1.20, so I had Lulu get some luncheon for he
and Dorothy and I told Dorothy to tell him that I had gone out
to look at the Russian Crown Jewels that some Russian Grand
Duchess or other had for sale at the Ritz.
So then I went to the Primrose Tea Room to have luncheon
with Mr. Montrose because Mr. Montrose loves to tell me of all
his plans, and he says that I seem to remind him quite a lot of a
girl called Madame Recamier who all the intelectual gentlemen
used to tell all of their plans to, even when there was a French
revolution going on all around them.
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes 95
So Mr. Montrose and I had a delicious luncheon, except that I
never seem to notice what I am eating when I am with Mr.
Montrose because when Mr. Montrose talks a girl wants to do
nothing but listen. But all of the time I was listening, I was
thinking about Dorothy and I was worrying for fear Dorothy
would go to far, and tell Henry something that would not be so
good for me afterwards. So finally even Mr. Montrose seemed to
notice it, and he said What s the matter little woman, a penny
for your thoughts.
So then I told him everything. So he seemed to think quite a
lot and finally he said to me It is really to bad that you feel as
if the social life of Mr. Spoffard bored you, because Mr. Spoffard
would be ideal to finance my senario. So then Mr. Montrose
said that he had been thinking from the very first how ideal I
would be to play Dolly Madison. So that started me thinking
and I told Mr. Montrose that I expected to have quite a large
size ammount of money later on, and I would finance it myself.
But Mr. Montrose said that would be to late, because all of the
motion picture corporations were after it now, and it would be
snaped up almost immediately.
So then I became almost in a panick, because I suddenly
decided that if I married Henry and worked in the motion
pictures at the same time, society life with Henry would not
really be so bad. Because if a girl was so busy as all that, it
really would not seem to matter so much if she had to stand
Henry when she was not busy. But then I realized what
Dorothy was up to, and I told Mr. Montrose that I was almost
afraid it was to late. So I hurried to the telephone and I called
up Dorothy at the apartment and I asked her what she had
said to Henry. So Dorothy said that she showed him the square
cut emerald and told him that I bought it as a knick-knack to
go with a green dress, but I had got a spot on the dress, so I
was going to give them both to Lulu. So she said she showed
him the pearls and she said that after I had bought them, I was
sorry I did not get pink ones because white ones were so
common, so I was going to have Lulu unstring them and sew
them on a negligay. So then she told him she was rather sorry I
meant to buy the Russian Crown jewels because she had a
feeling they were unlucky, but that I had said to her, that if I
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes 96
found out they were, I could toss them over my left shoulder
into the Hudson river some night when there was a new moon,
and it would take away the curse.
So then she said that Henry began to get restless. So then
she told him she was very glad I was going to get married at
last because I had had such bad luck, that every time I became
engaged something seemed to happen to my fiance. So Henry
asked her what, for instance. So Dorothy said a couple were in
the insane asylum, one had shot himself for debt, and the
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