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matter at hand and prayed him to adjust his schedule so we could discuss it after
his arrival during his next tour. He was in Australia, but within one week at the
latest I would have received an answer. My subconscious was ready for a
disaster, anticipating an event I intuitively knew would come. The most probable
situation was that he would become very angry and fly into a rage. If the whole
situation slipped out of my hands and, as a result of our break, he stopped
coming to our group, those who loved him would suffer. Few people, in fact,
would be able to comprehend the reason for my action. I would be the one who
had disturbed a comfortable though imperfect situation. My friends liked him;
his annual visit was a powerful stimulus to their effort and motivated them to
practice Kriya intensely.
A harsh reply came a few days later. In a disdainful way, he did not
address it directly to me but pretended to answer the 'persona' that had materially
sent my letter via fax. He wrote that my excessive attachment to the techniques
would never let me out of the fences of my mind I was like St. Thomas, too
desirous to touch with my hand and verify the goodness of his teachings. He
added that if he satisfied my request, it would only be to gratify my ego.
Reading the term "gratification," I knew he had understood nothing. We
should have talked to each other long before it came to this! I wondered why he
had never allowed me to express my concerns. I didn't want to contest him, I
didn't want to destroy him; the necessity that brought me to write him was to
establish once and for all what I was supposed to communicate and what not to
communicate to the kriyabans during initiation. Why had he always evaded me?
I decided to behave candidly, as if I had not perceived his tone. I wanted
to see what he was capable of. I neither apologized nor answered in a resentful
tone. I wrote that I taught Kriya on his behalf and therefore a mutual discussion
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about certain Kriya details was necessary. I added that at such an event the other
three people in Europe authorized by him to impart Kriya initiation could also be
present. I thus made him understand that he would not have wasted his time and
breath for only me. I never received an answer, neither then nor ever. A few
weeks later I saw on his Internet site that the name of my town had been taken
off the list for his visit to Italy. My second letter had brought about a definitive
split. The nightmare was over!
I took a one-day vacation and went for a long walk; I roamed a lot, tensely,
imagining a hypothetical discussion with him. All of a sudden, I found myself
crying with joy. It was too beautiful I was free. I had been with him too many
years, and now all that had really ended!
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Appendix about New-Age-Polluted Kriya Yoga
The problem of considering the wrong attitudes towards the Spiritual path is a
more serious theme than what is commonly perceived. A full realization of the
faddiness that keep many kriyabans' mind busy could drive any serious Kriya
teacher crazy. Do we really think that all the kriyabans who stick faithfully to a
schedule of regular practice are free from insane and totally irrational
expectations that contradict the very basis of the mystical path?
Let us try to resolve the following doubt: ''Often we introduce to another
person the value of Kriya Yoga. This person sustains undecided although with a
benevolent attitude the impact with our enthusiasm. It may happen that later this
person begins to show an uncurbed enthusiasm about the idea of undertaking this
discipline. Now, is it possible that this odd change is due to the fact that our too
enthusiastic words about the amazing effects of Kriya have created a colossal
deception?'' Unfortunately, if some part of our explanation has been twisted or
overlooked by our listener, a dangerous illusion has taken solid roots in his/her
mind.
The greatest and most insidious delusion is that Kriya is an scientifically
based, and therefore almost automatic, tool of self therapy (psychological.) The
project of embarking on the Kriya path with the hope of getting free from
depression or other common forms of neuroses leads nowhere. If you have a sick
mind and after having experimented with alternative remedies, you follow the
counsel of a too much enthusiastic friend and try the Kriya path too, you won't
obtain anything, except for a headache. Not only that: if, through this process
something good happens in your psycho-physical system you will not recognize
it and get only anguish. In this situation there is no love for Kriya. You fear in
your heart you will be disappointed and you will.
Kriya works when there is love for the Divine and great appreciation for
the Kriya techniques. You cannot look at Kriya with suspicion: "Does it really
work"? No human can ever touch the supreme Good of Kriya unless you place it,
with unshakeable trust, above all the other achievements of the world. You
cannot clumsily try to camouflage your skepticism by pretending a nonexistent
spiritual interest. Kriya can work even if you are not a "religious" person, but it
should be the object of your enthusiasm and aspiration.
Kriya is not a psychological journey in the realm of our mind but a spiritual path.
Forgetting this gives all deformations green light. For example some nourish the
groundless expectation that Kriya practice might amplify their mental powers.
This idea is subtly fostered by some Kriya literature.
I don't want to say that this is the only idea that comes out from certain
literature. By no means! You are invited to seek the Divine only, quoting the
Gospel with authority. Yet the preceding idea is created by many discourses. It
gives origin to an almost inextinguishable oscillation between seeking the Divine
only, surrendering to His will without asking any other thing, and to use will,
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imagination and effort to get some tangible results which it is the aspect that,
just in order to be understood, I call ''magic''.
This situation is made more unstable by the fact that, owing to religious
conditioning, the idea of moving towards God might remain, for many persons
and for a long time without an ounce of attractiveness.
The dawning of a spiritual awakening is when suddenly the Omkar
dimension enters one's life. Omkar is important, very important. Without it, you
can repeat all day long: "Thou art that" but you don't grasp its meaning. You are
only enjoying lofty ideas. Even if you believe in a Higher Self and desire to live
without betraying it, if you are not in contact with the Omkar reality, you betray
your Higher Self continuously.
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