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"I would prefer to find another uninhabited world," he murmured as they
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descended.
"Uninhabited? But Earth isn't uninhabited," Kerwin pointed out.
"Sorry, but according to official galographics that's how it's classified. Not
your fault."
"Now wait a minute." Miranda halted and crossed her arms again. "You said we
were going to be able to go shopping."
"Some of the best and most unique items obtainable are to be found on worlds
classified as uninhabited."
This mollified her slightly. "Well okay. But remem-ber, you promised."
Rail eventually led them into a large, domed chamber, which Kerwin felt must
be located somewhere near the middle of the ship. A broad, sweeping window
dominated the far wall. Presently it displayed layers of earth and rock, plus
one family of gophers who were about to be rudely awakened.
Their host oozed into a lounge-style chair, and Kerwin wondered aloud as he
took note of several similar seats nearby if he and his friends should do
likewise.
"Only if you'd feel more comfortable. The field will keep everything steady
and stable. You will experience only a slight sense of movement as we depart.
Unless the Oomemians start shooting, in which event I may be compelled to take
evasive action. But I think we will surprise them."
Miranda promptly settled herself on one of the inviting lounges. It was much
too big for her, but shaped close enough to the human form to be comfortable.
She began fumbling in her purse, which was slightly smaller
than your average steamer trunk.
"I am going to sit right here and do my nails. With all that bouncing around
you just wouldn't believe how banged up they got."
Kerwin was inspecting the enclosing walls. They were lined with inch-wide
metallic strips that resembled mylar but obviously ran much deeper.
"Fascinating," he murmured.
"Bull," said Seeth. "You don't even know what you're looking at. You haven't
got enough point-of-reference to figure out where the toilet is."
"It's highly advanced technology." Kerwin assumed a superior air. "That much
is obvious."
"Actually, this wreck's on the old side." Rail ran his tentacle tips over a
knot of intersecting mylar strips on the console in front of him. "It was the
best
I could do on short notice. I was in a hurry and had to borrow whatever was
available."
"You mean you borrowed this ship, too? The way you 'borrowed' Izmir?"
Kerwin nodded in the direction of the ex-bowling ball. It had adopted a pole
shape, plonked itself down on the console next to Rail, and balanced itself on
both arms while staring intently at nothing out of that single, unblinking
blue eye. A bright purple-and-pink striped pattern flowed across it in endless
streams.
"The pressure of circumstances compelled me to." The ship lurched sharply,
nearly knocking Kerwin off his feet.
"Hey, watch it!" Miranda had to juggle her nail polish.
"Apologies sorry." Rail bent low over his control strips.
"I thought you said we wouldn't feel any movement." Kerwin looked around for
something to hang onto, but the chamber walls were smooth as the inside of a
billiard ball. He started cautiously toward one of the chairs.
"Did I? Excuse me. I am doing the best I can. If we get off a little odd, the
field should compensate. Anyway, the ceiling is soft."
"Soft ceiling?" Kerwin hastily slid onto the lounge chair, hunted frantically
for straps or belts. "Anything to hold you down here?"
Rail didn't look back. "Touch the strip on your left, halfway down."
Kerwin found the metallic surface in question and fol-lowed instructions.
Something like an invisible hand grasped him gently around the upper chest and
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legs. It was light as a feather and, he had no doubt, far more secure than
leather. A touch lower down on the strap released the hold instantly.
"Nice and neat, anyway," he muttered.
"Oh, the ship takes care of that, insofar as it's able," Rail told him. "I'm a
terrible housekeeper. There are places even the automatic cleaning devices
refuse to go. Absolutely filthy. Chambers and rooms that haven't been cleaned
out in years. Besides being ugly, the Oomemians are slobs. There are things
left behind by previous users of this vessel whose origin and purpose I do not
care to contemplate. Some of it moves, I think. I wouldn't go wandering about
the ship once we're on our way."
"Don't worry." Kerwin reactivated the restraints. "I may not get out of this
chair again until we make landfall."
Seeth was the only one still walking about, even though the vessel was now
shuddering and jerking in response to Rail's instructions. "You know what,
man? You've really blown it."
"Blown it?" Kerwin looked over towards him. "What are you talking about?"
"You were in that stupid bowling alley to take notes for a class paper,
right?"
"That's right. So what does...?" His voice trailed off as he realized what
Seeth was driving at.
Of course! In ruining one project, fate had presented him with another, far
greater opportunity. Positively unique. Why study the social habits of
middle-class American bowlers when he could take notes on the lifestyle of not
one, but two alien races Prufillian and Oomemian. Three, if you counted Izmir
as alive. The report he could make!
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