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"I don't know anything about it. Run along and peddle your papers."
That was the wrong line to take, because the city cop brought out a piece of paper with a
lot of fancy printing on it and said: "Okay, here's a warrant. You're pinched. Come-" and he took
Fitzgerald by the arm.
Fitzgerald cut loose with a swing that ended, splush, on the cop's face, so that the
policeman fell down on his back and lay there, moving a little and moaning. The other brothers got
excited and seized both cops and threw them out the front door and bumpety-bump down the stone
steps of the fraternity house. Then they went back to their pledge meeting.
In five minutes four radio patrol cars stopped in front of the frathouse and a dozen cops
rushed in.
The brothers, so belligerent a few minutes before, got out of the way at the sight of the
clubs and blackjacks. Hands reached out of blue-clad sleeves toward Fitzgerald. He hit another cop
and knocked him down, and then the hands fastened onto all his limbs and held him fast. When he
persisted in struggling, a cop hit him on the head with a blackjack and he stopped.
When he came to and calmed down, on the way to the police station, he asked: "What the
hell is this all about? I tell you, I never stole nothing from a museum in my whole life!"
"Oh yes you did," said a cop. "It was the false teeth of one of them things from another
planet. O'Riley, I think they call it. You was seen going into the museum around closing time, and
you left your fingerprints all.over the glass case when you busted it. Boy, this time we'll sure
throw the book at you! Damn college kids, think they're better than other folks. . .
Next day Herbert Lengyel got a letter:
Dear Herb:
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When you read this I shall be enroute to Osiris with the teeth of Chief Inspector
Ficèsaqha, one of our greatest heroes. I managed to get a berth on a ship leaving for Pluto,
whence I shall proceed to my own system on an Osirian interstellar liner.
When Fitzgerald suggested I steal the teeth, the temptation to recover this relic,
originally stolen by de Câmara, was irresistible. Not being an experienced burglar, I hypnotized
Fitzgerald into
doing the deed for me. Thus I killed three birds with one stone, as you Earthmen say. I got the
teeth; I got even with Fitzgerald for his insults; and I got him in Dutch to give you a clear
field with Miss HoIrn.
I tell you this so you can save him from being expelled, as I do not think he deserves so
harsh a penalty. I also gave you the Osirian hypnosis to remove some of your inhibitions, so you
shall be able to handle your end of the project.
I regret not having finished my course at Atlantic and not being finally initiated into
Iota Gamma Omicron. However, my people will honor me for this deed, as we admire the refined
sentiments.
Fraternally,
Hithafea
Lengyel put the letter away and looked at himself in the mirror. He now understood why he
had felt so light, daring, and selfconfident the last few hours. Not like his old self at all. He
grinned, brushed back his hair, and started for the house phone to call Alice.
"So, chentlemen," said Hithafea, "now you unterstant why I have decidet to sign your
agreement as it stants. I shall perhaps be criticized for giffink in to you too easily. But you
see, I am soft-heartet apout your planet. I have been on many planets, and nowhere have I peen
taken in and mate to feel at home as I was py the Iota Gamma Omicron fraternity many years ago."
The ambassador began to gather up his papers. "Have you a memorantum of this meetink for
me to initial? Coot." Hithafea signed, using his claw for a pen. "Then we can have a formal
signink next week, eh? With cameras and speeches? Some thy if you feel like erecting a monument to
the founders of the Interplanetary Council, you might erect it to Mr. Herbert Lengyel."
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