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When she closed her eyes and crossed her fingers, I experienced this unavoidable urge to reach
out and clasp that hand, or at least cross my fingers right along with her.
She looked so alone and small on that bed, her fingers crossed with hopeful, childlike anxiety. It
made me uncomfortable to watch her this way, mostly because I couldn t do anything to help her, or
more accurately because I shouldn t.
Thinking screw it, she needs this, I reached out and took her hand. Her fingers were cold and
gave a startled jerk under my grip. But I didn t let go. Her eyes flashed open to peer up at me, but I
just nodded, letting her know I was there. When her fingers finally squeezed back, I swear I felt the
grip tighten around my heart instead of my palm.
Well, that s good, she said into the phone only to wince as if she knew that was the wrong thing
to say. But it must not have gotten the response she feared because she let out a relieved breath a
second later. Okay, then. Thank you for calling.
And that was that. I glanced around the room before turning back to her. Is that all? I asked.
Why didn t you tell them you were in the hospital, too?
She flushed and handed the phone back to me. I regretfully let go of her fingers to take it. I... She
shook her head and waved her bad arm. This isn t a big deal. She only would ve derided me for
being clumsy.
But you weren t clumsy. It was my fault you got hurt.
No... She sighed as if exhausted. It wasn t your fault. And even so, she would ve somehow
found a way to blame me.
I frowned, which only caused her to glance away. Her fingers fidgeted with the blankets.
From listening to her drunken rumblings on Saturday, I already thought her parents were complete
assholes. But now, I really didn t like them. I didn t like the way they affected her, making her
stammer and turn placating. This was not the woman I d seen lead a class for the last few months.
And it certainly wasn t the woman I d held in my arms all Saturday night.
After everything they ve done to you, I m surprised you still talk to them at all, I blurted out
before I could stop myself.
What? Her face once again leached of color. How do you know I mean, what re you talking
about? You don t know anything about my relationship with my parents.
I winched. Yeah, and you obviously don t remember everything you told me Saturday.
Oh, God. Her eyes looked too large for her head as she gaped in horror. What did I say?
No way could I repeat what she d told me. My mouth opened, but no words came.
Noel?
My first name on her lips slayed me. It made me want things, like hurting her parents or that other
asshole football player who d hurt her. It made me want to reach for her hand again or lean down and
kiss away all the pain in her eyes by touching my lips to her brow.
Yeah, I definitely loved how she said my name. But before I could make a fool of myself and react
to it, the door opened, and a nurse walked in.
Okay, Miss Kavanagh. You re free to go.
It s doctor, I said before Aspen could, not that she looked as if she was going to correct the
nurse. Both women blinked at me. She s a doctor, not a miss. She s... Crap, now I felt like a
pretentious ass for making a big deal about her fucking title. But Aspen deserved the respect of such
an address. She d worked her ass off through school to earn it. A literature professor, I finished
lamely.
The nurse flushed. Oh, I...excuse me, Dr. Kavanagh. She turned to Aspen apologetically, but
Aspen waved it away before sending me a strange look.
I shrugged, not caring if I d sounded prissy. Right now, I wanted everyone she encountered to
worship her and treat her as if she was the only thing that mattered.
It took a few minutes after that for us to leave the hospital. When I drew her car keys from my
pocket, she zeroed in on them.
I can drive, you know.
Oh, really? Flipping her off, I asked, How many fingers?
Instead of getting offended and telling me to behave, she squinted and leaned toward me, stepping
off balance and nearly falling into me. I caught her around the waist, keeping her upright.
Wrong answer. I m driving. Besides, we came here together. How do you expect me to get
home?
Instead of pulling away to walk on her own as she would have if she were completely coherent,
she leaned a little more heavily against me. I could drive you back to campus to get your car.
There she went again, thinking I had my own set of wheels. I sighed. You can t even see three
feet in front of you. I m driving. When she frowned at me, I merely sent her a saccharine smile.
Deal with it, sweetheart.
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